I love our marriage! I also love that God called us to ministry together but in the early days I, well I wanted to murder him! (figuratively) He struggled to find boundaries much less balance. Most days I functioned as a single mom of two...
Ministry can take a toll on marriage and family. While most people work 9-5 in the secular world, ministers feel compelled to be available 24/7. It isn't possible to operate under this pressure and remain healthy. Meanwhile, the family should be understanding and wait their turn! no, no no! absolutely NOT.
Once we were out with the kids and he suddenly went all "pastor" on us, warning the kids to behave because church people were spotted in the vicinity. OMGosh, no he didn't!!! I reminded him the kids were his primary concern and no one else comes before them even if they were acting up. After some intense persuasion he began to see things my way. We will not be put on hold or perform as perfect little robots anymore. While I'm at it I'll confess, we made him leave his phone away from the table during our dinner so yes, there were times he ignored your call and I'll own it. We needed his attention first. One more thing: Ministers if you are talking shop at the dinner table with the kids, stop it now. Information does have a lasting effect on them.
Do not lose your marriage for the sake of ministry. Our advise to couples is to be intentional about dating with the following guidelines:
don't talk about
What's left to talk about then? Each other!!! Hello? Thank back to the days of dating, we talked about one another and the future. Why does that have to cease when we say I do? Ask about one another's goals. Dream outside the box together. What is God doing in your life? What do you want to be when you grow up? How can we pray for one another? Figure out how to laugh together! This is called dating!
Sometimes we just need to blog about the obvious struggles that need to be put into words.
It's time for you to take a retreat with your spouse. Marriage Retreats at HPM begin in May 2016. We keep it small and real! Using one of the leading marriage tools "Prepare/Enrich", you'll experience a relaxed weekend of small group discussion, time for each other and new friendships in the beautiful setting of a 100 year old bed and breakfast.
"Every great movement of God can be traced to a kneeling figure" DL Moody